𝙒𝙝𝙖𝙩 𝙝𝙖𝙫𝙚 𝙄 𝙡𝙚𝙖𝙧𝙣𝙚𝙙 𝙖𝙗𝙤𝙪𝙩 𝙡𝙤𝙫𝙚

And what I want You to learn and understand about love too.

1. We don't fall in love with something or because of something. We love no matter what. If you are suffering thinking that someone who doesn't see our good qualities and deeds will change their mind, understand us, appreciate us - then you are thinking in vain. If the person who is with you doesn't feel like winning a lottery, then give yourself a chance to find the one who believes that lucky tickets exist. The effort you put in to make someone fall in love with you is the straight way to depression.

2. Unmet emotional needs and unrealistic expectations are the greatest killers of love. If inside you are sick, thirsty for love, understanding and appreciation - you will probably attract the same emotionally disabled person who will reflect all the pains within you, without actually loving and appreciating you. We seek the love of others as we are in the hope of receiving it, even though those people feel exactly like us. And they don't love themselves, so what kind of love can we get from them?

3. Getting into relationships with people you would never have chosen if you were happy, enjoying yourself and life? The saying "I need love like bread" may sound romantic, but in reality, the most joyful relationship is when they are "cherry on the cake" and not "sip of the pure water" for the thirsty. Love doesn't have to beg, it doesn't need to demand. Love must have so much power that it can rely on itself to fulfil it in giving.

4. All of us have been or will be treated ungenerous, dishonest, vile. A paradox, however, we have learned the most about love from people who do not love us, who stop loving us, or will never love us. Never ending complaints, accumulation of grievances, and endless accusations usually get us nowhere. We must have the courage to grow up and take responsibility for our experiences. This is the only way we can be free. It takes two for the dance. One behaves, the other allows them to treat themselves in one way or another; one doesn't respect, but the other doesn't respect himself either; one has a lover, but for the other it's very scary to stay alone... As I. Yalomas say: "Even if 99% of what happened to you is someone else's fault, I want to hear about that one percent that you are responsible for."

5. You are the cause and source of everything that is happening to you. Improve, be curious about what is happening inside you. No doubt - it all reflects in your outer life. Notice how you create the same situations every time that your experiences are painful. Find out the reasons for this. Get closer to them rather than to the flaws of a new partner. It's very difficult to love a person who doesn't like and doesn't appreciate himself. Make self love a priority. Try to give yourself what you lack: care, understanding, appreciation, respect. That doesn't mean you won't get those things from others then. No, it's actually the only way to get them from the others too. You can't leave the keys to your fullness and happiness in someone else's pocket - even in the pocket of your loved ones. Your happiness is your own work.

6. We are wrong to think that if we have already met "our" person, there will be no more disagreements, arguments, disappointments, discouragements. True soulmates inevitably challenge us to learn what we don't want to know about ourselves, provoke us and if we are willing to - gives us the most valuable lessons in life, the opportunity to grow and to be ourselves. We don't learn to truly love when things are going well. Love is born when we desperately don't understand each other, but after great efforts we try to find common points. You don't come to love when you find the perfect person for yourself, but when you learn to love the one who is next to you, with all his imperfections.

7. Your relationship with yourself sets the tone for all your other relationships. Therefore: learn, learn and learn a bit more to love yourself. Self-love is not a love of a predatory animal, who seems that everything around is for him, who sees every person as a possible prey, values all circumstances only in terms of his own - his own benefits, satisfaction. When you love someone, you wish them well. You wish the highest, the brightest, the happiest things to your beloved ones.

8. Very often we build our happiness purely on relationships. We imagine that if we had our own person - all the problems would be solved, and the loneliness that tormented us would disappear forever. A harmonious, warm, loving and respectful relationship actually brings a lot of joy, different colors and meaning to life, but we always tend to concentrate to what we don't have. And when we meet a person with whom we begin to create a life together, we quickly realize - what I was, I brought into my relationship, what I am - it IS my relationship. So, the conclusion is the same - let's start with ourselves. Let's make friends with ourselves. Let's make friends with our loneliness.

9. Our awareness of what love is expands and changes us as we become more conscious and mature. For some, this path begins and ends with a comprehensive desire to be loved, for others, the hunger for unsatisfied love ends with the realization that there are no greater happiness than being able to give your love to someone else. In search of love sooner or later we realize that we are love, that we do not need to look for it, but we need to be it! Let's expand our limits, our perception and our ability to love.

10. Loving yourself is the only way to be happy. You can be loved by someone, as much as they can, but only the love from yourself can make you happy. Love yourself, your life, your surroundings. Love all your experiences, without them you wouldn't become who you are today. If you are waiting for your person, remember that only a happy heart attracts happy events. Don't look for half empty sides - become full of yourself, and then watch how the heart magnet works!

𝐌𝐚𝐲 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐲𝐨𝐮 𝐭𝐨𝐮𝐜𝐡 𝐢𝐧 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐥𝐢𝐟𝐞 𝐛𝐞 𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐰𝐡𝐞𝐥𝐦𝐞𝐝 𝐛𝐲 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐬𝐩𝐢𝐫𝐢𝐭 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞. 𝐋𝐞𝐭 𝐞𝐯𝐞𝐫𝐲𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝐛𝐞 𝐟𝐫𝐨𝐦 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞, 𝐰𝐢𝐭𝐡 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐧𝐚𝐦𝐞 𝐨𝐟 𝐥𝐨𝐯𝐞!

With love & light,

Steel Butterfly